I Remembered the Boy with the Yellow Pail

Fall 2011

We went to the beach and had a picnic

I held your small hand as we braved the waves washing our feet while balancing on the rocks

I heard you laugh

I laughed with you

You held my hand so tight, and you are so small and the water is so voluminous

I love you so very much.

Later, we went on a makeshift picnic and had crack and peel peanuts.

You really believe that the squirrels are coming for you, and that I should call the Easter bunny to tell them you have peanuts. That is some world you live in, and I am glad to be part of it.

Suddenly, this woman came over and asked ?did you have a flowered bag? Because you left it under the picnic table?. We all said yes and thanked her. I was just so happy she said ?I thought it was you as I remembered the little boy with the yellow pail?.

I was so happy. My whole life many have never remembered me or tried to forget me. Here we are and you are the little boy with the yellow pail to her, and the world to me.

Sometimes I wonder if you will ever remember me, or is the autism going to rob us. Or is the autism going to just continue to provide us a fantasy world, where there isn?t any blood pressure pills, cholesterol issues, poor economies, foreclosures and all the things that everyone gets wrapped up in yet, doesn?t make a difference to you

The boy with the little yellow pail. Call the bunny. The waves. Your small hands. My heart is full.

JW